Getting to Say Yes | Book Review

“Getting to Yes” is a book on negotiation written by Roger Fisher and William Ury. The book presents a problem-solving approach to negotiation based on the idea that both parties can work together to reach a mutually beneficial agreement.

Principles of Negotiation: The authors propose four principles for negotiation, called “principled negotiation.” These principles are:

  • Separate the people from the problem: This means focusing on the issue at hand and not letting personal feelings or emotions get in the way of the negotiation.
  • Focus on interests, not positions: Rather than focusing on what each party wants, the authors suggest focusing on the underlying interests that motivate those wants.
  • Invent options for mutual gain: Instead of trying to compromise, the authors encourage negotiators to work together to find a solution that benefits both parties.
  • Insist on using objective criteria: The authors suggest using objective standards or criteria to evaluate potential solutions rather than relying on subjective opinions or preferences.

When discussing interests, the authors suggest using open-ended questions to help uncover the other party’s underlying concerns. For example, they suggest asking, “Why is that important to you?” or “What would that achieve for you?” These questions invite the other party to share more about their underlying motivations and interests, which can help in finding mutually beneficial solutions.

The authors also recommend using open-ended questions to understand the other party’s perception of the situation. For example, they suggest asking, “How do you see the situation?” or “What do you think is causing the problem?” These questions can help to clarify the other party’s perspective, which can be used to find common ground and work towards a solution.

In discussing communication, the authors suggest using open-ended questions to encourage the other party to share more information. For example, they suggest asking, “What do you mean by that?” or “Can you tell me more about your concerns?” These questions can help to clarify the other party’s position and promote active listening.

When discussing options, the authors recommend using open-ended questions to generate creative solutions. For example, they suggest asking, “What if we were to approach this problem from a different angle?” or “Are there any other options we haven’t considered yet?” These questions can help to spark new ideas and generate more options for a mutually beneficial agreement.

Tips and Techniques:

Besides the principles of negotiation, the authors provide practical tips and techniques for implementing them. Some of these include:

Active Listening:

Active listening is a critical component of effective negotiation. It involves paying close attention to what the other party is saying and demonstrating that you understand their perspective. This can be achieved by asking clarifying questions, summarizing what they have said, and acknowledging their feelings and concerns.

Asking Open-Ended Questions:

Asking open-ended questions is another essential technique in negotiation. Rather than asking yes or no questions, open-ended questions encourage the other party to share more information and provide insight into their underlying interests. By asking questions like “What do you hope to achieve in this negotiation?” or “Can you tell me more about why this issue is important to you?” you can gain a better understanding of their perspective and work towards a solution that satisfies both parties.

Reframing:

Reframing is a technique that involves looking at the issue from a different perspective or reframing the problem in a way that opens up new possibilities. By reframing the issue, negotiators can identify new opportunities for mutual gain and find creative solutions that satisfy both parties. For example, if the negotiation is stalled over a particular issue, you could reframe the problem as a joint challenge to be overcome rather than an obstacle to be avoided.

Brainstorming:

Brainstorming is a technique that can be used to generate new ideas and options for mutual gain. The authors suggest that negotiators should avoid evaluating ideas during the brainstorming process and focus on generating as many ideas as possible. This can lead to more creative and innovative solutions that may not have been considered otherwise.

Developing Objective Criteria:

The authors suggest using objective criteria or standards to evaluate potential solutions. Objective criteria can provide a neutral basis for evaluating proposals and can help ensure that both parties feel that the solution is fair and equitable. Examples of objective criteria could include market value, industry standards, or legal precedents.

Building Rapport:

Building rapport is another important technique for negotiation. By establishing a relationship of trust and understanding, negotiators can create a more productive and positive environment for reaching an agreement. This can be achieved by showing empathy, demonstrating a willingness to listen, and focusing on areas of common ground.

Asking open-ended questions:

Rather than asking yes or no questions, the authors suggest asking questions to encourage the other party to share more information. Asking open-ended questions is a crucial technique in effective negotiation. Open-ended questions encourage the other party to share more information and provide insight into their underlying interests. Here are some ways to ask open-ended questions:

Start with “what” or “how” rather than “yes” or “no”:

Open-ended questions start with “what” or “how” rather than “yes” or “no.” For example, instead of asking, “Do you agree with this proposal?” you can ask, “What do you think about this proposal?”

Avoid leading questions:

Leading questions can bias the response and lead the other party to provide an answer that aligns with your expectations. Instead, focus on asking neutral questions that allow the other party to provide their perspective.

Show curiosity:

Demonstrate genuine interest and curiosity in the other party’s perspective by asking questions that invite them to share more information. For example, “Can you tell me more about how this issue affects your business?” or “What are your concerns about this proposal?”

Avoid interrupting:

When asking open-ended questions, it’s important to let the other party speak without interruption. Interrupting can be seen as disrespectful and may damage the rapport between the parties.

Use follow-up questions:

Follow-up questions can help to clarify and expand on the other party’s response. For example, if the other party says they have concerns about a particular proposal, you could follow up with, “Can you tell me more about what specific concerns you have?”

By asking open-ended questions, negotiators can gain a better understanding of the other party’s perspective and work towards a solution that satisfies both parties. However, it’s important to note that asking open-ended questions alone is not enough. Negotiators must also actively listen to the other party’s response and use the information gained to move towards a mutually beneficial agreement.

Key Takeaways:

One of the key takeaways from the book is that successful negotiations are not about winning or losing but finding a mutually beneficial solution. The authors emphasize the importance of collaboration, problem-solving, and finding common ground. They suggest that by focusing on interests, inventing options for mutual gain, and using objective criteria, negotiators can find solutions that satisfy both parties.

“Getting to Yes” is a valuable resource for anyone who wants to improve their negotiation skills. The book’s approach is based on collaboration and problem-solving, providing practical tools and techniques that can be applied to various situations. By following the principles of negotiation and using the tips and procedures provided by the authors, negotiators can increase the likelihood of reaching a successful agreement that satisfies both parties.

Image credits: Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels


Srimouli Borusu
Senior Researcher @Amelia.ai